Hi there peeps..its been quite a long tym since i reali sat down&reali blogged....I just duno why during&after the trip to the City Gallery for learning journey I felt reali stupid&fustrated....There could be many reasons for the way I felt...bt the most prominent was that I felt kinda used by others...
On the trip there itself there were many incidents that others showed favourtism&some sort of acting...its lyk u wana borrow sumthing from sumone&the truth is he or she doesn't wan to lend u bt they say they wana used it at that point in tym&jus after u ask,sumone else comes along,sumone else thats more good-looking,more kind or hot or sumthing,sumthing that they are better in then u or they hav a certain aspect whom u lack of,bt the most common,has NEVER done anything wrong to them,asks to borrow the item u wanted to borrow a lil while ago bt failed to do so..surprize,surprize!The item was lended to that person,evn when the owner him/herself wanted to use it at first....
Well,so the day continued...den i felt pretty lonely...lyk an empty shell...its so hollow...the feeling was just to unbearable...bt I just couldn't let the enemy noe I was at that tym....
Den,back to school we go^^....bt i wasn't ^^ on the way back..diao,mayb i was Emo den...den i just kept thinking...y?y are they treating mi lyk dis?.......didn't get the answer,so I just kept quiet all the way.....
When we finally touch PRCS ground....sumthing else happened that made mi more fustrated...den Miss Low cme by&i dcided i needed to tok to sumone so I asked Miss Low if I culd tok 2 her;she agreed..I tld her what happened&surprizingly,she said i shuld b happy wif wat i hav nw...she tld y ppl treat others the way they do..&the truth Miss Low said was that her situation was far more worse than mine...I guess she understands how i felt..Thanks,Miss Low:)..
That night,at home,I sat down at thought of what hav i done to deserve such treatment..Finally i found the answer...it was cuz of the way I treated them in the past....well,i demanded to much,never spare a tot for them...always picking fights.insulting them when i didn't get what I wanted...etc....so that's why I say I deserve such treatment,i couldn't blame them...more importantly,I dcided,not to b make use by them in future...for various reasons...friends,information on a particular topic,etc..bt i still have to say it..Sorry,peeps for wat I have done in the past....
Bt if they treat mi as real friends,i wun mind..:)..even if u made it so clear that we could nv b friends,i dun care cuz i will always b waiting for ur answer:yes,even if u keep saying no,i wun giv up,gona hang on that thin strand of hope..thuo i may hate u till den,gona wait...guess i m gona suffer for 1 1/2 years more.....&to the gal i lyk whom i m not sure of my feelings yet....i will come clean to u,when i m sure,by Graduation Nite~
Here's my thanks to those who comforted me when I was feeling down,wether by chatting wif mi to take the fustration off my mind or just simply comforting mi..U have my thanks:Beryl,Nurli,Yong Jin&most importantly,Miss Low....
Ciao~
P.S.This post is meant to express how i feel,not meant to insult anyone,if u think so otherwise,then I can't do anything...
Watashi wa Rayne-kun~.